Day 30 - Make it Count

Well, friends, the thirtieth day is here.  As I sit down to write this blog, I am so overwhelmed with thoughts and ideas that I am almost at a loss.  Have no fear though, if there is anything I always have enough of, it is words. 

To start, I have to say thank you to each and every one of you who read this blog.  Whether you read one entry, or ten, or all thirty, you supported me on this journey.  Thank you for the likes on Facebook, the comments, the text messages, the conversations in the hall at work, on the phone, or just in passing.  You allowed me to share a part of myself and my life with you, and in doing so, you shared yourselves with me.  You made these last thirty days fun.

Secondly, I’d like to thank my friends and family who made my party last night and my day today more special than I could have hoped for.  If you caught my album on Facebook, then you already know that the party was a nautical themed white party – specifically set on the doomed ocean liner, the Titanic. 

When my girlfriend Katie and I met and became friends our freshmen year in high school, Titanic was, without a doubt, our favorite movie.  We watched it incessantly, owned it on VHS, and sang along to “My Heart Will Go On” with all the fist-pumping, chest-pounding enthusiasm of Celine Dion herself.  Add that to my repeatedly voiced desire to throw and/or attend a “White Party” and you have the most glorious recipe for a thirtieth birthday party I possibly could have imagined. 

In the movie Titanic, Jack convinces Rose to take a chance on him, telling her to “Make it count.  Meet me at the clock.”  Katie took a part of this quote, and had it emblazoned on a banner.  In full, it read “You’re 30!! Make it count.”   Today, I got to thinking about that quote.  For the last thirty days, this blog has allowed me to “make it count” every single day.  When I first started, I was apprehensive about my ability to carve out the time in each day to write.  I was also anxious about having enough to write – what if nothing interesting happened?  What if my blog fizzled, flopped, failed?  In the end though – none of that mattered.  I realized that if I simply opened up a new word document every day, and started to write, I couldn’t fail.  I hadn’t set out to write the next great American novel, I had set out to live, and pay attention.

Pay attention, I did.  I made each day count, in a way I wouldn’t have otherwise.  I drove my car in total silence and listened, I felt the sun warm my face and soaked it in, I went to Mass and fully participated, I cleaned my closet and learned from it, I cooked my dinner and made it an event, I taught my students and really recognized their brilliance, I spent time with my friends and family, and truly acknowledged their importance in my life.  I lived these last thirty days with a heightened sense of awareness that was invigorating, exciting, and beautiful. 

I knew when I began this endeavor that I would come out of it altered in some way.  Doing anything for thirty days is necessarily transformative, if for no other reason than it demands a certain level of commitment.  This thirty-day journey has made me more aware of the gifts in my life – I am more cognizant of and engaged with the daily experiences I would normally take for granted.  I realize that, ironically, the real challenge starts today.  The true test will be if I am able to maintain this level of awareness without the pressure of a daily blog to keep me honest.  If I’ve learned anything in the last thirty days, it’s that my days will never go as planned, I will slip up, I will struggle, and I will stumble.  But, I will also wake up to beautiful surprises, I will laugh, I will find joy, and I will triumph.

Many of you have asked me if I am going to continue to blog.   You have shared your interest, and encouraged me to keep this whole writing thing up.  Well, I’m going to do it – although I haven’t quite figured out in what way.  I want this blog to stand just as it is – kind of a birthday present to myself, a digital monument to my entrance into my thirties. 

So for today – it’s not goodbye, it’s just “see you soon.”  Until then, thank you, thank you, thank you, and remember to make it count.